21 October, 2010

I'm going to do it!!!

I got the ball rolling today and next Wednesday afternoon I will be taking the placement tests needed to enroll at the local community college and finish that AA degree and just keep on going till I feel like I'm done.

I will take the test, be assigned an advisor, turn in my application, unoffical transcripts, my appeal letter for financial aid-I am under probabtion and have to prove myself.

I started this post the other day and had to stop, so now I am going to finish it.

I am going to go back to college and I am excited. I know it might seem silly to sit here and say that I am going to go to school just so that I can go. But honestly that it just what I am going to to.

I can teach my children, do all the things that need to be done here everyday and what??? I am not happy, I need more, I feel like my life is a waste and a joke. You know that part where you are at a party or something and all the other women are talking and then it comes up, that well what do you do? Oh I'm a Mom, and the next you know they all start pulling away from you and you are left standing there wondering what just happened. But the funny thing is, I can't say that this has happened to me or that it would because all of the women I know are just what I am, a mom who stay home and teach their own children. But I need to do this for me, sounds selfish I'm sure. I just feel like at this point in my life, if I don't get this ball going right now I'll never go back. That if I wait till Rachel is done with school-which is another 15 years. That I'll just be to tired and not interested.

I hope to go back and move forward with my higher education and see what happens. Who knows with me going to school and all it might just make my guys move faster and try that much harder. But then again I may find that I get my AA and decide that I just need to wait a bit and go back when they are all a little bit older still. We'll see, but for right now my goal is to get that AA, then BA, then on into a Master's Degree and hopefully a PhD.

But for now I'm off to write my last appeal letter.

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